But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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