Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize