God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize