Cold hands, warm shart.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
