I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
