found the other keg... it's in the tree
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
