Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
