in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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