Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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