mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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