Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
