So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
