I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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