I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
