my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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