the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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