i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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