well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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