At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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