Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
