Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Randomize
