I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
