He is an equal opportunity slut.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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