all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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