Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
