Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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