from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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