Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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