My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
