wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize