Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
