I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
