Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
