i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
