His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His nipple licking is glorious
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