he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
