Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize