Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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