its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
