I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
