The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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