Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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