His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You're like the curious george of whores
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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