I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just google imaged poop.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
