Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
