Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
