no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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