How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
