i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
