It's like God shit irony all over that family
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
