it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
