i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
