My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
