I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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